Dear John,

     During my second date with a new guy, I told him I liked him. On our 3rd date he said he'd discussed my comment with a friend and they both thought it was "weird". I told him that it meant that I enjoyed his company. During our fourth date he insinuated again that it had been a weird thing for me to say. What did he mean by this? I recently ended things with him but I don't feel good about any of it. When I asked if he wanted to be friends he became aloof. What are your thoughts?

Signed,
What... Me Weird?

Dear What... Me Weird?

     When a woman reveals her intimate feelings to a new guy and the guy shares those feelings with a friend, and then he and the friend decide the woman is weird for having those feelings, it is a good sign for her to run from the relationship as far as possible and never look back.

You were not weird to feel or say the things you did, and your date's inability to accept your thoughts leads me to think he'd second guess or ridicule you on just about anything.

Some may suggest that a second date is too soon to reveal your feelings for a person, and in some cases they may be right; but we can all agree that a guy who kibitzes with a friend about a woman's disclosures demonstrates a lack of respect for her and an insensitivity regarding the dating process in general.

You were right to call the thing off, and right to feel lousy about him and the encounter. But you don't need to feel bad about your admission, and you don't need me to spell out why he's now balking about being friends.

It may be that he's not that into you, but that's a good thing. Because he's the weird one here.

Thanks for playing,
John



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