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Dear John,

     I'd been a good girlfriend for the six years of our relationship. I was there emotionally and financially when he was unemployed for 3 years. I took him back after he cheated. I forgave him for the venereal disease he gave me. I even loved him when things he said made me suspect infidelity again. My trust was not 100 percent, but was I wrong for that?

I wanted to get through our problems and continue on. It may sound stupid, but I loved this person. Eventually we broke up for good, and two weeks ago he told me to stop calling and get myself together. I have not spoken or tried to reach out since. It's hard because I don't want him thinking I was a bad girlfriend! I don't think I was.

Not So Bad

Dear Not So Bad
     Let me get this straight. Your guy was out of work for three years; he cheated on you; he gave you VD; and he probably continued cheating afterwards. Meanwhile, you supported him financially; looked the other way after contracting VD; took him back after he cheated; and felt guilty about distrusting him after seeing clues of cheating again. And now you are concerned he might think YOU are the bad partner?!?

I'd like to think I'm missing something here, but sadly I doubt I am. You deserve better than you received, but if you don't believe it and don't demand it, you will never get it.

My advice is the same as his. Stop calling, and get yourself together. It is too late to change the bad patterns established in this relationship. In the future, stand up for yourself from the beginning. If you don't, you have no right to complain.

Thanks for playing,

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