Dear John,
What does it mean when a guy asks you out once a week consistently but has no communication with you between dates? This has gone on for six weeks now. The dates are filled with laughter and great conversation. And, yes, we have slept together and have chemistry. But when the date is over, it is OVER! I don't hear from him until the day before our next get together when he offers up restaurant ideas. It's just plain weird because we are very couple-ish when we see each other.
I don't know what to make of it. Does he have another girlfriend? Is he just busy at work? (He is a successful entrepreneur.) Is this some master strategy to keep me longing? Is dating just a small piece of his priority pie? Or....sigh…is he just not that into me?
Signed,
Waitin' for More
Let's tackle your first question first…"Does he have another girlfriend?" I think you are putting the cart before the horse here. He can't have another girlfriend unless you are a girlfriend, and from the description you provide, you and he aren't girlfriend and boyfriend. You are dating.
"Is he just busy at work?" Assuming he is into you, he should find time for you no matter how busy he is. If he likes you but ignores you (especially at this early stage), I'd reconsider the relationship, as his lack of attention is a harbinger of things to come.
"Is this some master strategy?" Good one! I laughed when I read that. No, this is not some master strategy. Men are far less complicated than that when it comes to dating. We don't plot out ways to hook a girl. We date based on desire and need. It's as simple as that.
"Is dating just a small piece of his priority pie?" Ah…you might be on to something here! As a successful entrepreneur, no doubt he has many priorities. And yes, at this point in your relationship, one of those priorities might be dating other women.
"Is he just not that into me?" The evidence suggests otherwise. The two of you have good conversation, fun times, and good sex. He asks you out religiously. By all accounts, he is into you. He's just moving at a different speed than you.
Often times we torture ourselves by guessing at the nature of things when simple communication will enlighten us. At your next date, tell him you enjoy his company and wouldn't mind engaging in some casual conversation between dates.
But do this gingerly. Just as spreading a rosebud's pedals with your fingers will kill it, the same impatience will kill a relationship. Sprinkle your budding romance with words and actions, and then stand back. If it's meant to bloom, it will bloom in its own time.
Thanks for playing,
John
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