Dear John,
I moved across country with my boyfriend of 3 years about 7 months ago. Last month he broke up with me saying he wants to be alone. But he also said I was the perfect girlfriend. I never did anything wrong and treated him great. He was my world….and for all this he broke up with me. He says he still loves me and I'm the biggest part of his life, but he wants his space. I still live with him, but might choose to go back home, even knowing I would miss him so much. Do you think going home is the right choice, or will he want to get back together? What does he mean when he says he wants space? I'm so lost. I don't know what to do.
Signed,
Lost in Space
You ask good questions, but to the wrong person. Only your ex can tell you if he'll want to get back together, and only you can decide whether going home is your best option.
For most couples, communicating during a break up is painfully hard. We talk either too callously because of anger, or too evasively to protect the other's feelings. The latter is what I think has happened here.
Your ex says you are the biggest part of his life and he still loves you; so why does he want to break up? Talk about a mixed message! I can't speak for him, but when a guy is wishy-washy and says he wants space, it usually means he wants to date others.
A heart to heart is in order. Demand he give you the straight scoop instead of beating-around-the bush. Make him understand that stringing you along and leaving you dangling is the worst thing for you. And then be prepared to accept the truth and base your decision on it.
My guess is he'll tell you he is ready to move on. Hearing it will hurt, but it's better than twisting in the wind.
Thanks for playing,
John
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