Dear John,
I had a boyfriend who was really nice and sweet and cared a lot for me. Then he heard a rumor that I liked a friend of his and broke up with me. I told them both the rumor wasn't true, but my ex wouldn't go back out with me. He won't talk to me and acts like he hates me and pretends I'm barely alive! He told his friends why he broke up but nobody will tell me anything! My friends say to talk to him but he won't even look at me. He promised we would always be friends but now we aren't. It's hard because I want him back and not the other guy and don't know what's going on!
Signed,
Always this Complicated?
Let me assure you, it is always this complicated. And confusing…and frustrating…and intense. And sometimes those complications add up to pure magic.
What I sense is you are young and perhaps in puppy love. If I am off-base here, I apologize; I don't mean to devalue your feelings with the label "puppy love". No doubt a young lover's emotions are as intense and sincere as an older person's. But young people don't always understand that they have lots of experiences ahead of them. I say this knowing it gives little help to hear it, but my guess is that the strong feelings you're experiencing will soon be replaced by even deeper ones.
I suggest you refrain from putting too much stock in what your/his friends say. Don't act rashly because of rumor, even when he does. Go directly to him to figure out your issues. If he won't talk to you, write him a note. But be careful what you write. As an immature boy, he will likely share your words with others.
When a boy acts like he hates a girl, it usually means he likes her; so maybe there is hope. If not, understand that almost all couples--young and old--find it hard to remain friends after the fireworks have died, and sometimes we just never get to the bottom of what put the fire out.
If your relationship has truly fizzled, maybe try giving a smoldering side-glance to your ex's friend. My bet is he has the hots for you!
Thanks for playing,
John
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