Dear John,
My ex-boyfriend dumped me about 6 months ago. Actually, he didn't dump me, he just "faded" out and stopped calling. Here's the thing – he's back. He left me a voice message. Why would a guy reach out again after breaking up? And should I call him back? And if I do, what should I say? I mean, maybe one more roll in the hay can't be that bad, can it? I love finally having the upper hand - him waiting for me to call for a change - but geez, I kinda still want to hear what he has to say.
Signed,
He Came Back
Why would a guy reach out again after breaking up? Hmmm, let me think.
Gosh, this is a tough one...
Oh, I've got it!
HE WANTS SEX!!!
Listen, HCB, one thing that might help you paddle through the choppy relationship waters is knowing that men are scum. Sure, we're varying degrees of scum, but each of us thinks with our southern head sometimes, making it easy to get singularly focused. If we break up with you, and then out of the blue ring you up (but don't immediately beg for a full blown reconciliation) rest assured we're calling for sex. Let me guess, it was 2:00 AM and he was slurring his words into your answering machine, right?
Maybe I'm being cynical, but I like you HCB, and I'd hate for you to fool yourself into thinking he's after more than a roll in the hay when he isn't. Any guy who "fades away" from a relationship without proper explanation is a rude, self-centered, uncaring classless pig...otherwise known as scum. His actions are a big red flag, and I hope my waving it helps you from getting abandoned again.
And please don't think you suddenly have the upper hand or are leaving him hanging. Nothing could be further from the truth! If you call him, realize you're doing so on new terms that he has created.
If you're not adverse to a late night booty call from Sambuca Breath, by all means give him a jingle. But if you're hoping for anything more, I'd stay clear. If you can't help but make contact, do so with a boatload of skepticism, and ask him straightaway what his intentions are.
Thanks for playing,
John
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