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Dear John,

     I met the First Guy in ‘08 and we dated about a year. I did everything for him…gave him money for his birthday, bought him concert tickets, splurged for a weekend in the Poconos for our one year anniversary. He didn't get me a thing, but he always had enough money for weed. When I found out he spent $400.00 a month on it I called it quits.

Upset from dumping him, I picked up a rebound, an old friend of mine. I was drunk and it just happened. The First Guy and I got back together after that and I told him I'd never break up with him again. Then he found out about the rebound and broke up with me. I tried hard to get him back but got nowhere for my efforts. So I gave up and got drunk and slept with another friend. The First Guy found out and I haven't heard from him since.

I met the Second Guy soon after and he made me forget about the First Guy. We decided to meet at a concert and ended up getting drunk and having sex. But after a few weeks of dating he still wouldn't do a certain thing for me, saying he only did that to skinny girls. Like it was a personal guideline or something! I got upset and he dragged me along for two months and finally said he just wanted to be friends. I haven't heard from him since.

To this day I miss them both, and wish we could be friends at the very least.


Dear Hopeless
     I'm torn between feeling sorry for you and thinking you got what you deserved. I can't fault you for getting drunk and screwing. Guys have cornered the market on these activities for so long, it's only fair you girls get your share. But you seem to do it at inopportune times as a way to mask pain, which leads to negative consequences. Sleeping with your friend only confirmed First Guy's negative opinion of you. You gave him the ammo and ended up shooting yourself in the foot.

Your relationship with the Second Guy is just plain sad. What self-respecting girl continues with a guy who tells her he only does "a certain thing" with skinny girls? I can only guess what the certain thing is, but you shouldn't have been down with his comment. Yet, you hung around hoping he'd eat his words. You should have given him a tongue lashing, followed by a pink slip.

In the end, respect rarely comes from lots of drunk screwing. When a guy gets drunk and screws, he's not looking for respect. He's looking for like-minded people to have fun with. If that's what you were after, more power to you. But you seem perplexed by the First Guy's abandonment and disappointed by the Second Guy's disrespect. My advice is, don't go around acting like a tramp if you want others to come around thinking you're a lady. What goes around, comes around, know what I mean?

Thanks for playing,

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