Dear John,
I'm sharing my story because at this point I am desperate and need advice. My girlfriend broke up with me a couple of months ago and since then I have missed her tons. She said we couldn't get through our issues, which are minor as far as I can see, but admittedly they are constant. We were very close and did everything together and enjoyed each other very much. This past Monday I asked her to marry me. I know that goes against what one must do in my situation, but I wanted her to know how serious I am to be with her. She said no to my proposal. We don't have animosity toward each other, but at this point I don't want to lose her and am frustrated. She told me that she would contact me if/when she wanted to see me again. What should I do? I'd like to continue to pursue her and call or text occasionally, but maybe I should wait for her to respond. Please advise!
Signed,
Desperate
There is an old TV commercial with the tag line, "Never let them see you sweat." The ad is for antiperspirant, but it is good advice for the brokenhearted, too. There is nothing quite as pathetic as acting desperate in front of an ex who's tossed you. All it does is reinforce why they broke up in the first place.
Asking your ex-girlfriend to marry you was clearly desperate. What you should have done was told her that you recognize your issues and are dedicated to working on them. And then respected her boundaries. That would have shown maturity and seriousness. Instead, your actions demonstrated qualities she probably had concerns about all along.
At this point, to call or text could be considered stalking. Therefore, button your lip and don't get hot under the collar. It's time to roll on.
Thanks for playing,
John
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