Dear John,
I became Jim's girlfriend the day after I met him. For me, it was love at first sight. I had known of his reputation as a player, but from the start he cared about me and his love seemed true. He told me I changed him and he wanted to marry me. My friends warned me and my mom was skeptical. She told me only time will tell, but I didn't listen.
Jim took me to his house and I met his parents. I travelled to his birth place and even met his grandparents. Everything was going great; but then his parents started disliking me because they thought I wasn't good enough for him. They are very rich. I was staying at Jim's place and his mother called me easy.
All I wanted was to make my boyfriend happy but his mom got in the way. She whispered in his ear every chance she got. One day immediately after Jim and I made love he broke up with me out of the blue. He told me to get on birth control and walked out. Within days he moved on to somebody his mom approved of.
I guess I should have heeded the warnings of my friends and family, but he really had me fooled. How can you tell when a guy is genuine and when he is not?
Signed,
Fool me Once
The dating scene is filled with insincere, self-centered people, but it's also filled with well-intentioned people who think they're in love when they aren't. Sometimes they mistakenly convince themselves they're ready for a meaningful relationship, and other times they confuse lust for love. In any event, it's hard for them to tell if they are being genuine, which makes it doubly hard for their partner.
It's possible that your ex had convinced himself he was ready to move beyond his player ways, but more likely he was in love with the idea of moving beyond instead of the person with whom he'd moved beyond.
Your mom's words, "only time will tell" are very wise. Standing the test of time is a good barometer of love; but then again, sometimes love is fleeting and not meant to last, while other times we just plain fall out of it. What I'm saying is there is no sure way to know if love will last, and that's one reason some people fight hard to keep from falling into it.
Obviously, your ex-boyfriend wasn't ready for a committed relationship; the way he dumped you shows he is still a creep. Not only is he a player, but he's also a Momma's boy. What a horrid combination for any girl to contend with! You should feel happy to be done with him.
Keep your chin up, and hopefully your next experience will be better. But if your new guy listens more to his mommy than to you, make sure you listen to yours, too.
Thanks for playing,
John
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