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We know your break-up is tragique. If you feel the urge to watch these videos, DON’T. Your lips could accidentally curl upward, a chuckle could escape, and there is NOTHING funny about a break-up.
BREAKUP SPOOFS

The Stalker
Perfect Match
Philip's Break Up Tips
Greg's Breakup Speech
Mary's Breakup Speech
Philip's Breakup Speech
Nefe's Breakup Excuses
Dating Poem
Crossdresser Breakup
Moe's First Breakup
Diana's Breakup Speech
MEET PHILIP AND MARY!
Follow the ongoing saga of our friends Philip & Mary
TOP WAYS HE LETS US DOWN EASY

You’ll replay these lines for months — in your head… over brunch with the girls... watching reruns of bad Meg Ryan movies for the tenth time. But should you believe them? We report. You decide.

  1. You've become my best friend.
  2. It hurts me as well...we're in this together...even apart.
  3. You're like a sister to me... it just feels different.
  4. The hottest relationships can seem so cold in the end.
  5. It was easy falling in love and that's why it's so hard to say goodbye.
  6. Love should be unconditional & I just don't want to prolong what can't happen.
  7. Don't focus on what you could have done because it's not you - or me - it's just us.
  8. It's not you. It's your Mom.
  9. I'm just not ready to be with someone as special as you.
  10. I just can't do it anymore.
  11. We can still be friends.
  12. I'm just not ready to be with someone as special as you.
  13. You really deserve better.
RED FLAGS

Sound the alarm when your man tries some of the oldest, and lamest, tricks and excuses in the book. Then kick his ass to the curb!

  1. Quits calling every day.
  2. Busy, busy, busy.
  3. Sleeps at friends’ house.
  4. You get voicemail all the time on his cell.
  5. He's not where he said he'd be.
  6. Your friends see him out at a club with "customers" or "clients."
  7. Foreplay is a lost art.
  8. Leaves after sex.
  9. Only calls for drunken late night bootie calls.
  10. Introduces you to a friend or another girl as "my friend."
10 WAYS TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER
AFTER A BREAK UP

You personally could stop after #s 1&2, but the rest of the list is pretty damn satisfying also! Take a few days and get back to us. We guarantee… you’ll feel better!

  1. Ice cream
  2. Toys
  3. Banging his best friend
  4. Shopping
  5. Staying busy
  6. Crying
  7. Breaking things
  8. Burning his pictures
  9. Drinking heavily and being personally destructive
  10. Take it one day at a time
TOP MISTAKES GIRLS MAKE
AFTER A BREAK UP
  1. Reading old love letters.
  2. Looking at old pictures or scrap books.
  3. Calling his friends to find out why.
  4. Rush into another relationship.
  5. Stalk his house.
  6. Tap into his voicemail.
  7. Re-write the relationship in your head.
  8. "Accidently" bump into him.
  9. Sleep with him again
THINGS HE SECRETLY WANTS TO SAY
TO YOU BEFORE A BREAK UP

After a few stiff martinis, a completely unsatisfying “talk” and some very satisfying break-up sex (it’s always better when it’s your last time), you might hear him utter these words. Or not.

  1. If you didn't put out so early I might of had something to fight for.
  2. It’s not me, it's you.
  3. Now that we don't do it whenever I want, I'd rather hang with the boys.
  4. Outta beer, Outta here.
  5. You were so easy it scares me to think of all the people you've been with.
  6. I used to stick up for you when my friends said you were a bitch....
  7. I couldn't live with myself knowing that I would be holding you back.
 
GET OVER IT
The best way to recover from a chocolate addiction is to eat five cans of Dunkin Hines frosting mix in one sitting. Jump into our tub of rejection flavored frosting, bathe in it, lick it, snort it, wash your hair with it, as professional comediennes break-up with you over and over and over again. It’s so painful it helps.