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Dear John,

     About six months ago I ended a No Strings Attached fling because I was falling for him and he wasn’t falling back. He said he liked me but wasn’t looking for a relationship. I cut him loose and was doing fine until two months ago when he texted out of the blue. He asked if I wanted to meet “for old time’s sake” and I said no. But we continued texting and eventually he asked again if I wanted to see him for a “catch up”. I asked if “catch up” meant sex and he said no.

Thinking he might want more of a relationship this time around I stupidly agreed to meet. But I made it clear I wouldn’t sleep with him. I’m sure you can see where this is heading. We spent an afternoon together, most of which time I spent fighting him off. We had lunch, which I paid for, and swatted him away like flies the whole time.

He texted a week later asking if I wanted to go to his place. I again told him I didn’t want a NSA relationship. He said he likes my company and is physically attracted to me but doesn’t want a big thing…maybe just a little thing. I didn’t reply, and haven’t heard from him since. I think about him though, and have taken the encounter very personally. I'm annoyed that he kept badgering me for sex, and that he let me pay for lunch. I’ve tried dating other people but can’t get over him.

In a man's opinion, do you think he considers me easy and not girlfriend material, or is he just a player?

Signed,
Strung Along

Dear Strung Along
     You have done the best you can with this relationship. You cut the NSA thing short when you realized you wanted strings and he didn’t. You made it clear you wouldn’t consider a frivolous situation again. You fought off his persistent advances and stayed true to your principles. You even attempted to move ahead by dating others. The only thing you could have done better was not take his piggish behavior so personally.

In this man’s opinion, the guy is a player. His own carnal satisfaction came before all else. Even when he knew you had strong feelings he still tried to play you. A guy can’t get much lower than that, but somehow he did, by making you pick up the lunch check!

This idiot might not see you as girlfriend material, but cads like him don’t see anybody as girlfriend material. I can’t tell you if he thinks you’re easy. What I can tell you is a thirsty man will go to great lengths to drink from a well in which he’s previously discovered water. Good for you for shutting off the tap and leaving him high and dry.

If I were you, I’d treat his badgering for your beaver as a compliment. After all, you must have been quite the thirst-quencher if he’s still salivating for you.

Thanks for playing,
John



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