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Dear John,

     I was seeing a guy for almost three months and everything was going smoothly. We had many great times, but then I realized I was making all the plans for us. This made me feel like I was chasing him. A week ago he broke up with me, saying he still had feelings for his ex-girlfriend. They had dated for two years and broke up only two months before he and I started going out. He confessed to being confused about their relationship and was contemplating giving it another try. At the same time, he said he wanted to be friends with me.

I donít know if I should bother being friends with him. Is it possible I was a rebound relationship and he never even liked me? Or should I hold onto hope that things wonít work between them and he will want me back?

Signed,
Rebound Girl

Dear Rebound Girl
     It sounds like your guy had a genuine interest in you and handled the situation appropriately. He was upfront about his confused feelings for his ex, and cut short your relationship after figuring them out. If he didnít care about you, chances are he would have treated you with less respect. Knowing this, I hope you can find some solace.

As for being friends, thatís for you to decide. Considering your romantic feelings, a friendship might prove painful if heís pursuing another girl.

I donít think yours was solely a rebound relationship; you just had a lot of history to compete with. If he comes back after a failed attempt with his ex, you will have even more history to contend with, and more grounds to feel like a rebound girl.

For these reasons, I suggest you bounce, and find somebody more available to court you.

Thanks for playing,
John



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